林書豪教你怎麼進哈佛(kuso)

資料來源 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-9yVnKQNj58

A lot of you guys asked me, how I got into Harvard. And since I have no life, and no job, I decided to make a short video with five basic steps on how you can get into Harvard.
很多人問我，我是怎麼進哈佛的？而既然我沒生活，沒工作，我決定做一個短片，其中有五個教你怎麼進哈佛的基本步驟。

Welcome to the first day of class. Today I'll be teaching you: How to get into Harvard. "Harvard! That's my favorite law school. I really wanna go there. Ya! Harvard!"
歡迎來到第一天的課程。今天我會教你：怎麼進哈佛。「哈佛！那是我最愛的法律學院。我真的很想去念。耶！哈佛！」

Have you ever had homework problems that you couldn't solve?
你曾經有作業問題不會做的嗎？

Step one: Get glasses. If you already have glasses, get bigger glasses. Couldn't have done those without the glasses.
第一步：弄付眼鏡。如果你已經有眼鏡了，弄付更大的眼鏡。如果沒有眼鏡沒辦法完成那些事。

Step two: Play an instrument. Everyone plays piano, or the violin. But who plays the…triangle? Exactly, no one!
第二步：玩樂器。每個人都會彈鋼琴，或是小提琴。但是誰會玩…三角鐵？沒錯！沒有人！

Step three: Improve test taking skills. It's imperative to hone your test taking skills by working fruitfully on your hand-eye coordination. A good warm-up is essential. Spend at least fifteen minutes everyday playing Fruit Ninja. Killed it! Thank you, Fruit Ninja.
第三步：增進考試技巧。藉由有成效的手眼協調練習來磨練你的考試技巧是非常重要的。一個好的熱身是必須的。每天至少花十五分鐘玩水果忍者。解決了！謝啦，水果忍者！

Step four: Practice while you study. Oh, shoot. I forgot the book. And one! Okay, Jeremy. Six times six? Thirty six! Nine times eight? Seventy two! Go on! Two hundred and eleven times eight?
第四步：當你念書的時候練球。噢，糟糕，我忘記書了。加罰！好的，Jeremy。六乘六？三十六！九乘八？七十二！兩百一十一乘八？

Step five: Be up to date with the news. For example, who knew the Dow Jones' down five points today? Ryan? Who's Dow? What team he's played for? Did they win? Oh, you mean Dow Ming (Yao Ming).
第五步：每天更新新聞。舉例來說，誰知道今天道瓊指數下滑了五點？Ryan？誰是道？他打哪一隊？他們贏了嗎？噢，你是說道明(姚明)。

Hopefully my video will get you into Harvard, or school of your choice. If I can go back in high school, I would only change one thing. I would still make sure I try to give my best effort, but I would worry a lot less, and I would enjoy that experience, those four years of high school, because they really do fly-by. Even when I got rejected from Stanford, I was pretty disappointed and crushed, because that was my dream school. But looking back, I realized God has a perfect plan for me. Everything worked out the way it was supposed to.
希望我的影片可以幫你進哈佛，或是你想進的學校。如果我可以回到高中，我只會改變一件事情。我仍然會確使自己盡我所能，但是我會煩惱少一點，並且我會享受那經驗，高中的四年，因為時間過得飛快。即便我沒進史丹佛，我很失望並傷心欲絕，因為那是我夢想的學校。但是回頭看，我了解到上帝給了我完美的計畫。每件事情都理所當然的完成了。

Wow, Ryan, you look already ready for Harvard. You betcha teacher!
哇， Ryan，你看起來已經準備好進哈佛了。當然啦，老師！