A lot of you guys asked me, how I got into Harvard. And since I have no life, and no job, I decided to make a short video with five basic steps on how you can get into Harvard.
Welcome to the first day of class. Today I'll be teaching you: How to get into Harvard. "Harvard! That's my favorite law school. I really wanna go there. Ya! Harvard!"
Have you ever had homework problems that you couldn't solve?
Step one: Get glasses. If you already have glasses, get bigger glasses. Couldn't have done those without the glasses.
Step two: Play an instrument. Everyone plays piano, or the violin. But who plays the…triangle? Exactly, no one!
Step three: Improve test taking skills. It's imperative to hone your test taking skills by working fruitfully on your hand-eye coordination. A good warm-up is essential. Spend at least fifteen minutes everyday playing Fruit Ninja. Killed it! Thank you, Fruit Ninja.
Step four: Practice while you study. Oh, shoot. I forgot the book. And one! Okay, Jeremy. Six times six? Thirty six! Nine times eight? Seventy two! Go on! Two hundred and eleven times eight?
Step five: Be up to date with the news. For example, who knew the Dow Jones' down five points today? Ryan? Who's Dow? What team he's played for? Did they win? Oh, you mean Dow Ming (Yao Ming).
Hopefully my video will get you into Harvard, or school of your choice. If I can go back in high school, I would only change one thing. I would still make sure I try to give my best effort, but I would worry a lot less, and I would enjoy that experience, those four years of high school, because they really do fly-by. Even when I got rejected from Stanford, I was pretty disappointed and crushed, because that was my dream school. But looking back, I realized God has a perfect plan for me. Everything worked out the way it was supposed to.
Wow, Ryan, you look already ready for Harvard. You betcha teacher!