參考資料 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aWlqxSXkFwA
I am a real ball. I came up during the real time, watching the Big O, watching Wilt, watching real balls. Get buckets! I get buckets! These young balls out here got all of the chic headphones, and all these rappity hippity hop, all these flashy shoes. These guys don't practice the fundamentals anymore.
我是個真正的籃球高手。我從真正的籃球時代而來，看Big O(註一)、看張伯倫(註二)、看真正的籃球。得分！我很會得分！外面這些年輕球員們都有時髦的耳機，和這些狗屁嘻哈(註三)，全部這些閃亮亮的鞋。這些人不再練習基本動作。
It's good that they come out here and play some basketball in this cold weather. Oh my gosh! Come here!
這麼冷的天，他們出來這裡打打籃球真棒。老天啊！過來！
Don't play around with these kids now... For real.
別跟這些小鬼瞎混…玩真的。
Got you, uncle Drew!
收到，Drew叔叔。
You could be good. Will you take the game serious, okay?
你可以很棒的。你可以認真點打，好嗎？
Hmmhmm.
嗯哼。
Oh my gosh!
我的天啊！
You okay?
你還好嗎？
Yo, we need...we need another player. Yo, I think my uncle Drew could play.
呦，我們需要…我們需要另一個球員。呦，我想我的Drew叔叔可以打。
I'll play.
我打。
Uncle Drew, you can play?
Drew叔叔，你可以打嗎？
Let us stop playing around.
我們別胡鬧了。
Come on, uncle Drew, we need you, man. Come on!
拜託，Drew叔叔，我們需要你。拜託！
Alright, man. Who do you want me to take?
好吧。你要我守誰？
Ehh... Just get the smallest kid on the court. He's really really slow.
嗯...只要看那個場上最小隻的。他真的真的很慢。
I got him. I got you help!
我守他。我會幫你！
Oh! Shit!
噢！狗屎！
Screen! Screen! Screen! Screen! Screen me! Screen me!
檔人！檔人！檔人！檔人！幫我檔！幫我檔！
You ok?
你還可以嗎？
Yeah, I'm good.
是的，我還好。
Show them something, man!
老兄，給他們點顏色瞧瞧。
Yup! Uh... Backboard!
好！啊…打板！
Uncle Drew!!!
Drew叔叔！！！
Eh, hey, hey!
欸，嘿，嘿！
Yo, what the...
呦，怎麼搞的…
He's not in the game. He don't(doesn't) know where it is.
他心不在焉。他不知道球在哪。
Come on!
拜託！
You got the help outside, dude! Oh, good steal. Push it! Push it! Push it, old man! There you go!
我幫你看外面的，老兄！噢，漂亮的抄截。推進！推進！推進，老頭！那就對了！
Stay in position.
站好位等。
I got you the right.
我幫你看好右邊。
Uncle Drew's still got skills!
Drew叔叔還很行！
Knock it down, uncle Drew! Good job!
拿下它，Drew叔叔！幹得好！
Loosen up, young blood! I can smell...
放輕鬆點，小夥子！我可以聞到…
This is amazing! I'm not gonna miss.
太不可思議了！我可不會失手的。
Good block. Watch your back!
蓋得好。小心背後！
Oh my goodness!!! Oh!!!
我的天啊！！！噢！！！
That's my uncle!!!
那是我叔叔！！！
Uncle Drew! Chill, uncle Drew!
Drew叔叔！酷耶，Drew叔叔！
I'm no more young blood, but...you wanna switch sneakers? You sure you don't wanna switch? He's got a hospital shoes on! Oh, man!
我不再是年輕小夥子，但是…你想要交換鞋子嗎？你確定你不要換？他穿著醫院的鞋子！噢，老兄！
Don't reach, young blood! Don't reach! Don't reach, young blood!
別想抄球，小夥子！別抄球！別抄球，小夥子！
Don't do it, uncle Drew!
別這樣，Drew叔叔！
He's gonna show you...
他會秀給你看…
Too easy out here against these young bloods.
來這裡對付這些小夥子太容易了。
FOUR HOURS EARLIER
四小時之前
I'm Kyrie Irving. Let the transformation begin. Let's do it! Transformation...is complete.
我是Kyrie Irving(註四)。讓變身開始吧。來吧！變身…完成。
Oh, man! You youngsters don't know what you are doing out here. Let the old man...show you a few things.
噢，老兄！你們這些小夥子不知道你在這邊做啥。讓老頭子…來教你幾件事情。
Thank you, old man!
謝啦，老頭！
Son, come here! Massage my bunion.
小子，過來這裡！按摩我的腳趾。
I gotta work on my voice. I gotta work on uncle Drew's voice.
我必須練習我的聲音。我必須練習uncle Drew的聲音。
We came, we saw and we conquer.
我們降臨，我們觀賞然後我們征服。
註一：Oscar Robertson，60年代的NBA傳奇人物之一。
註二：Wilt Chamberlain，張伯倫，也是60年代NBA傳奇性代表人物之一。
註三：原來是Rappity Rap and Hippity Hop，是一種新世代美國族群代表，把自己弄得很Hip-Hop的感覺到球場上去。
註四：2011年新秀，新人王。也是本搞笑影片的製作人。
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